You know, I was thinking today. Shocking. As I wondered down the baby aisle in WalMart, I thought, "When was the last time I bought something on the baby aisle for my boys?" I love the smell of that aisle. So fresh smelling and sweet. I was thinking things like this because today is the last day I'll be medication free. I'll remember this day. Tomorrow I start taking meds. that I will have to take strictly. I know people take medications every day for the rest of their lives. Thank God the meds are there. I guess I am a little sad. I don't like to be told what to do most of the time. I like to think that I have a little control in my life---how I act, what I eat, getting the amount of exercise I need. I have been fortunate. I have never had to take medication on a daily basis. Until now. So, I have a "lump" in my throat because...I am not sure why. Maybe it's a little anxiety. Maybe it's because I am feeling a little guilty for being upset over pill taking. I mean, it could be so much worse. I have been telling myself that from the get-go. Maybe I just need to have the "I am so mad about this" moment and then move on. Like my friend Cindy said, "Just go get the pills, Dana." Yep. It's a good day. You have to get on the bus, if you want to go to school. :)
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Sorry this is so long!
Four years ago, my doctor handed me a prescription for synthyroid and said take one every morning right when you wake up and I will see you next year unless you start feeling worse. Being the polite Southern girl, I thanked him and wished him a good day. I stuffed the little piece of paper in my purse and walked out to the reception desk to pay my co-pay and tried to visualize my calendar in 12 months - what day is good for you in 365 days days? Hum, "Thursday, I guess." "Is Morning or Afternoon, better?" "Morning?" I replied hoping that it was the right answer. I left the office drove over the bridge and got in line at the Drive Thru at Rite Aid dumped the prescription and my insurance card in the caniter(sp?) and sped off to McD b/c I hadn't eaten or drunk that day - (I knew that I would have to get on the scale so I wore only my wedding ring to lighten the load!) I went back through the drive thru picked up my little bottle of yellow pills went home and look at the label before dumping it into the drawer. My heart stopped as I read "Refills x 11)" What??? I have to take this for 12 months? Quickly, I called the doctor's office back and left a message that I needed to talk to the doctor. He being the sweet man that he is called back - worried something was wrong and I said - this says I have to take this for months. Then, he explained that I would be taking it for the rest of my life. I was angry!!! Why had my body let me down?! I don't want to be one of those people who has to take medication everyday. John came home told me it was no big deal and I should be grateful that there was medication. I love being married to an engineer - they are so sympathic! Dana, I am still as angry today about having to take that stupid synthyroid as I was 4 years ago! Rationally, I know that it is no big deal and I should be grateful for the medication, but emotionally, it still p.o.s me! It is that whole feeling of betrayal by my body, but maybe I think a little anger is good because I now exercise everyday and take better care of myself determine to work hard not to have to take more medication. In the end, I want to say that I understand how angry it can make you but I hope that it will work quickly and effectively!!!
Love you!
Anonymous D
Thanks Anonymous D...I guess I AM mad that after trying to take care of my body and multisport exercising---it still "betrays" me. Onward and upward...Love to your sweet mom for the card. Curt and I loved the cat card!! :)
I thought of Baby Kitty when I sent you the card!
Anonymous D
Baby Kitty!!! We miss her so much!!
d,
the lump in your throat...
it's just your goiter!!!
i love you!!!
d xx
Thanks, D. That really helps. LOL
l,d
What happened to Baby Kitty????
Dawn!! Baby Kitty died of kidney disease about 6 years ago!! Sam has never forgiven us for not letting him see her before we buried her in the back yard!:O
.^-^.
{>o<}
l,d
so far how's the bus ride?
do you know anything yet?
Shannon...
Bus ride sure isn't crowded that's for sure. Looks like I won't know if it is doing it's job for about 2 months! So in the meantime, I hope to get an appointment at John's Hopkins soon. Thanks for checking in!
Oh Dana... I hope the medication works for you!! So not fair we do everything right & our bodies still let us down!!
Take care,
Love Tanya xx
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